I took everything in the medicine cabinet, but I fed the cats and the dog. I’m sorry if there’s any vomit. Tell my parents I’m sorry too, and that I wish they would’ve been more emotionally open when I needed it and less critical when I didn’t need it. Also, I love you very much and wish you the best. Please take care of the animals—I know you will. The truth is, I’ve known since I was a kid this was going to be the way out and I’ve isolated myself from people ever since I realized that. No need to drag people down with me. I was going to become a teacher so I could transfer any semblance of hope I have to kids who need it, but I think that ship has sailed, along with thousands of dollars in tuition money and any sense of self worth I had. So anyway, here’s to you, my love. You are one of the only things that kept me hanging on this long—you and the pets and my sister’s kids and my brother. Oh yeah, I guess I should say something to my brother since this is rather sudden and these are my last words. Tommy, I love you very much and you’ve been a wonderful companion to have on this very confounding journey of life. Thank you for all the book recommendations and the music; I think of you very fondly. I hope that one day I’ll see you again, whether you believe in heaven or not, and you can tell me about all the wonderful adventures you went on. I guess to Denice, thank you for praying for me to be born, but I’d like to go now. I didn’t try to see you beforehand because I didn’t want to be talked out of killing myself. I love you and your unbreakable faith. I apologize the most to you because I know you loved me more than anything for a while there, and still love me very much. I think I’ll start the process now. Hinton, you are perfect.
